Earlier than my usual rising time, I had been teased out of bed by the sweet smelling gasses whose perfumed promises of more to come were ever more alluring than the prospect of a lie in.

The turd itself, soft as it was robust, exited confidently, snaking out with an unabrasive grace that was a joy to the senses.

No areas of complaint. No room for improvement – Textbook

Turd Hughes