10:12am. Work toilet

The turd came out coated in an armoured exoskeleton of crusty poo. It’s soft interior was betrayed by the rough, unforgiving edges that caught on my inner sphincter as it was passed. This was coupled with an intense explosion of aniseed that hung in the air and stuck to the tongue.

I could taste the flecks of chinese 5-spice that had broken off from the mother-poo on exit and floated out into the atmosphere. I felt as if I had got my money’s worth from yesterday’s dinner, in that I was privileged enough to taste it twice. What worried me though was that there was no difference between the two servings – Digestion had not changed the flavour at all.